What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

How old is planet Earth? Is it 4.5 billion years old or 6,000 years old?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

How far does good behavior take you in a prison?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Do intellectuals who peddle pseudoscientific tripe like simulation theory ever stop and think they are just dumb NPCs for Illuminati bot wars?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why are you bare-nakedly displaying your anti-Trump bias while ignoring the liberals' destruction of the US? I am now blocking your e-mails because of your biased articles.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

TEXT:

Why do I get bored with porn so quickly? I can watch maybe half a video (5 mins max) and then get bored and do something else. I don't watch porn often, just a teenager. 17.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Are democrats inherently stupid or just lazy? They can Google " Ohio is investigating reports by residents that migrants are eating the local wildlife " why can't they seem to do the most simple things? Blind, ignorant, stupid or obtuse?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

According to the Gita, how do I abandon fruits of my karma? Should I donate my whole salary and stay hungry?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What does it mean when we dream about demons, ghosts, monsters, etc.?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What do you think hell is like?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”